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Can you give me advice on this relationship?

Submitted: 10/11/2009
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Question: I have a very personal quesion. You see, my girlfriend and I have been dating for one year and at first her dad approved of it, and said it was God's will. But now he has changed is mind. He is also her pastor. But for me personnaly, I have prayed and prayed about it and so has she. And we both feel it is God's will. I really don't plan on quiting church. But if we are still going to get all this pressure from him, we may have to go to a different church and get married. I do not attend his church, but I personnaly do not agree with alot of his beliefs. He is an apostolic pastor but by the way I hear of him he puts on a face in church, and at home he is a total jerk! So what should I do?

Answer: Frankly, we doubt that you will heed our advice, but we believe you would be making a huge mistake to go against your girlfriend's father. Regardless of whether he is a pastor or not, he is a father. And from a biblical perspective, the father has the say so in whether or not his daughter gets married and to whom. The very fact that you have written this question and suggested that you would marry this girl in spite of her father's wishes shows us that we would not want you to marry one of our daughters. You are showing a brazen and rebellious spirit. We suggest you discuss this entire matter with your spiritual leaders. You need to submit yourself to this girl's father and allow him to guide the relationship. Keep in mind that you reap what you sow. You may one day have a daughter and believe me, you will want any would-be son-in-law to respect you and your authority over your own daughter. We caution you to be very, very careful here. We also want you to know that if you are engaging in any kind of physical contact with this girls, you are in no position to hear the voice of God concerning marriage. You are way out of bounds and need to get back into a biblical relationship before proceding any further.