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Was it wrong for me to stay over?

Submitted: 5/24/2006
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Question: I recently stayed over my boyfriend's house. We stayed in separate rooms of the house. We were never alone, his mom, sister, and brothers were there also. I stayed because we live in separate cities. We live three hours away from one another. At no time did we ever engage in ungodly behavior. Our standards are high and neither one of us desire to be out of the will of God. Was it wrong for me to stay?

Answer: Let's elevate this matter to a level above the question of mere right or wrong. Paul laid out an important principle for all sincere believers in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24. He wrote, 'All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being.'

The question is not whether what you did was right or wrong; it is whether it was helpful and edifying to other people who may have observed what you did--the nextdoor neighbors for example. What do you suppose they thought about your car being parked in front of your boyfriend's house all night?

There is a standard of conduct that surpasses the standard of mere right or wrong. Paul expressed it this way in Romans 14:16, 'Do not let your good be spoken of as evil.' In 1 Thessalonians 5:22 he said it this way: 'Abstain from all appearance of evil' (KJV). These verses tell us that we must be concerned about more than simply whether an action is wrong; we must also consider whether it could be perceived as wrong even if it is right. According to Paul's standard, that would make it wrong.