I know how you feel, for I have been through it myself. I was verbally and emotionally abused by some of my grown children. I was called a leach because I chose to stay home and raise my children and did not work outside the home to buy them the latest fashions. Also for our godly beliefs. I had to tell them to go to the extent of calling the police. We cannot compromise for our children if they choose to live ungodly lives. The two elders told you right. It is time for them to go. Your wife does not deserve the abuse. You are the head. There are some men, sad to say, who won't step up and be the head. So what you are doing is right. Abuse by one's children can wreak hovack in a mother's live. It can tear her down emotionally and it will take a while to heal from all of it. Jesus is able. I know, I have been there.