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Questions about self- esteem and depression?

Submitted: 3/2/2006
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Question: I would like some advice. I have prayed about it for more than 5 years, I have dealt with it for around 16 years. My school days involved bullying everyday, verbal taunting, not physical. People have made remarks to me over the years that I cannot forget. I look in the mirror with disgust, I despise my features, I want to change my face, and I question God and ask Him why I could not be prettier. Every other girl is more beautiful. They are always told they are beautiful, but I hate my appearance. How can I get rid of this issue because the prayers are not being answered? To add to it as well, I am in severe debt, I have actively been looking for full-time work, nothing comes up. I have prayed, I have prayed. No answers. Death seems better than life most times. How can I get rid of these major issues? I acknowledge that it is a sin to hate how God has created us, but I can't control how I feel. With thanks.

Answer: You may not be able to control how you feel, but you can control what you think about and how you act. The first thing we suggest is that you be very clear in your mind about the goodness of God. He has not failed you or mistreated you in any way. He hears your prayers and answers in the ways that He knows to be best. In other words, there is absolutely no problem with God. Whatever problems there may be, they are all on your side. This may be because of some of the things you have been led to believe over the years.

As has been said, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What you, and other people, may consider to be beautiful may be repulsive to God. We suggest you turn your focus toward Him and Him alone. As David wrote, 'My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him' (Psalms 62:5). We do not know anything about your church experience, but we definitely suggest you participate in a strong apostolic assembly that has home groups full of safe loving believers. This is the only answer we know of for your struggles.