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How can I advise my friend?

Submitted: 4/2/2009
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Question: My best Christian friend just found out that she is pregnant and she is not married. She has now stopped eating and is having problems sleeping and focusing. She is so ashamed and depressed. How can I advise her properly.

Answer: Since we don't know all the details, it is very difficult to tell you what advice your friend needs. For example, we don't know how old she is, if she has a family, how supportive the family is, whether the father would marry her, or how understanding and supportive her pastoral leadership is. We suggest you start by talking to your pastoral leadership about the situation and see what they advise. Perhaps you can accompany your friend when she speaks to them. One option which we hope is completely off the table is abortion. Let your friend know that this does not need to be the end of the world for her. But there are consequences for sin and she will be facing some difficult decisions in the months ahead. Assure her that you will stick with her no matter what.