Most people are filled with the Spirit near the time they are baptized in the name of Jesus. This is because Jesus described the new birth experience as a birth of 'water and the Spirit' (John 3:5). Just before His ascension He told His disciples, 'John truly baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now' (Acts 1:5). In Acts 2:38 Peter said, 'Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.' Acts 8:16-17 says, 'They had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then they laid hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.' In Acts 10:47 Peter said, 'Can anyone forbid water, that these should not be baptized who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?' And Acts 19:5-6 says, 'When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. And when Paul had laid hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they spoke with tongues and prophesied.' All of these passages connect receiving the Spirit with water baptism.
When a person receives the Spirit, he must be willing to speak in tongues, but we would not say he speaks in tongues purposely. Acts 2:4 says, 'And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.' The Spirit is the energy behind speaking in tongues. The speaker must simply yield to the Spirit.